In the Skyyyyyyyy!

Kites, 2010
Directed by: Anurag Basu

Never forgetting that this is a Film Blog, I decided to do it justice and to bite my tongue and just go see Kites. I had been avoiding it because of the Hrithik Roshan overkill I've been subjected to for the 6 weeks I've been in India; but today I had a day off and was feeling daring enough to go out by myself, so I just did it.

And I really liked it. Bahaut liked it.

I think that like Housefull I was saved by lack of subtitles... but that is not the only reason I feel victim to Kites ("in the skyyy!", sorry, but I can't help myself):

1. Copious use of the Spanish language...mixed with Hindi.
Actually, this was one of the really big attractions to me to see the film. I grew up speaking Spanish, and am (or imagine myself to be) beautifully fluent in the language, however; since I have been dawdling in Hindi I can never remember one or the other and have developed a form of Hinpanish... if you thought Hinglish was a nightmare, than you'd be appalled by this combo. Whether I'm speaking Spanish or attempting Hindi the holes are filled in with the other language. So I would say something insane like: Como se dice ap ki naam? And get bewildered looks. This film did nothing to help my condition, BUT the Spanish bits were the only parts of dialouge that I understood verbatim. Que lastima! And, Hrithik speaking Spanish. More of this will come later but, can we say "melt"? Yeah.

2. Mexico and the South Western United States.
I have a love affair with all things pertaining to Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, and New Mexico. The food, the colors, the language (Spanglish!) the people... everything! A long-unfulfilled dream of mine is to live in Chihuahua again, rename myself Rosmarita, wear fouffy dresses with roses in my hair and simply get fat on mole, tacos and horchata! So I might have teared up a bit when they were eating tacos and rice (since that's been my #1 craving since being here) and dressed up in traditional garb dancing salsa and being all around amazing.

3. Simple Hindi Film.... Bollywood-ness.
A car barely hits another car and causes a chain-reaction of 50 cars blowing up BUT the next time 10 cars go flipping into the air they just land sans becoming fireballs. Oh, I love little oddities like that.
Gratuitous showcasing of Hrithik's body and/or dance moves.
Villains/Godfather-family-esque mobstering.
Use of the phrase "love story" to mention another couples relationship.
"Just Add Water" rain and dance moments.
Overall "snuggle-ness".

4. Kissing.
It's taken me a very long time to get used to kissing in Hindi Films, but now that it's more common place, and NOT used as a shock factor, I don't want it to stop. The kissing in this film was superb, and always came right when you wanted it. (This sounds so perverse!) And sometimes it left you wishing they would kiss when all they would go for is the Incredible Filmi Hug. Plus, it would be remiss if you let two of the world's most perfect noses not snuggle up towards one another. The audience would just be outraged!

5. Chemistry.
Barbara Mori could have smoldered a hole through the screen herself, but matched with Hrithik it was like an all consuming blaze. They looked so so good with one another, and they made their amazingly stressful relationship believable, and enticing to look at. They also have matching eyes, with is one of those little things that always just tickles my fancy.

6. The Music:
Please correct me if I am wrong, but this is the first film I've seen with an actual SCORE. Now, being the music geek that I am, I grew up on film scores, so they're just something I notice... and this one, (besides stealing heavily from some Lord of the Rings* music...) was a full-on-changed-with-the-action-full-feature-score. Not just a loop of the same ambient music repeated over and over again with variations of volume for emotional effect (I'm looking at you, My Name is Khan!) Also, I was a fan of the Filmi music too. Full of Spanish flavor with moments of "Well at least he's trying and almost succeeding" singing from Hrithik. I'm becoming more comfortable with the music used as background pieces if it suits the film, and for this film, an all out dance sequence would have just been too much. My hats off to the sound designer and music director, for they used the music with good taste, and to display the proper emotions.

7. The story:
I liked it, there were parts I didn't like (namely, um, violence, since I'm a Quaker and all**) but for the most part it was easy to go along with. Almost like a twisted, bizarre, not as lovable Bunty aur Babli. And I won't give away the ending (that takes a lot of restraint for me) but while it's something I find hard to deal with, I thought it was done tastefully and with delicacy. The pacing was spot on and I never felt like it was dragging or becoming too cumbersome. Plus, I really liked the narrative, flipping back and forth from present to past with a seamlessness and a "I'm really not getting lost" clarity. For the most part I was feeling very lovey-dovey and kept sighing with happiness when something especially cute would happen.

Oh the power Indian Cinema has over my hard heart that other RomComs fail to soften!

8. Ok. Hrihik:
I am not, or was not one to fall down adoringly at HR's feet and worship anything about him. His face was always too defined, his bellybutton too weird, he lacked the proper amount of body hair (a.k.a. any), and he was just too pretty. However, scruffy, bleeding, dirty and at the "Yes, I would find you more attractive now" age of 36, I totally fell for him. Plus, he has long-ish curly hair. Battle won over this ladki's heart. I was also surprised by his acting, since I never sought out his films before I wasn't sure if he could do more than smile and melt women's hearts; but Mr. HR has some commendable chops, played his tortured Romeo well, and I might be more inclined to partake in more of his films.

Ah, Kites (in the skyyyy!) was just what I needed... but you made my desire to hurry home and eat tacos all the more keen. Damn you for that!

Oh! And I must say, that the trailer for "I Hate Luv Stories" makes it look utterly fantastic and hysterical... but I could be really wrong.

Also, why does Raajneeti, or as I call it, Ranbir-eeti, have to come out AFTER I get back home? I shall be having words with my home theater if they don't order it in!

*I hate Lord of the Rings, and am dealing with my shame for 1) knowing the music and 2) mentioning it here.
**My high school mascot was the Fighting Quakers, and I'm from a predominantly Quaker area, and while I am not a Q myself, you do develop certain values when you are reared in a pacifist community.

I Must Love You

Oh Blog Child of mine, look how I am giving you gossip TWO days in a row! I must be addled!

I am starving. Unfortunately we had a film crew in the house all day, so the left overs we usually have from lunch were gobbled up and we are left food less in my house, and the cook made her exit five hours ago. I have a real hankering for eggs on toast, and we have both eggs and bread but I'm somewhat daunted by having to make eggs on a plate over an open-flame stove top.

I'm such a spoiled little gori cook.

Today we shot for my coworker's film, an expose on Rickshaw-wallah's daily lives. It was fun, and a day full of firsts, of which I shall list out and explain in full Erin style!

1. First Sunburn: I don't burn. Ever. I've never turned pink, but I'm looking at my face and my chest right now, and it's red. Lobster red. I blame my coworker for forcing us to film her film from the hours of noon to three. Outside. In the middle of the street. I'm actually not that upset, but as I'm allergic to sunscreen (all types) I knew I was at least going to come home a little toasty. I was basically on-hand as "recorder" and I just took pictures of her recording video... ok, and I was flirting with all the people who came by to watch... and I'm talking, there were crowds. All they saw was camera equipment and a white girl and WAKAOW! we were swarmed. I rather enjoyed it, since I wasn't doing any actual work and I was quite a hit with all the little children, since I accidentally let all the Mango Bites spill out of my purse at convenient times. India is teaching me to love children, and I'm quite enjoying the lesson!

2. My first ride on a motorcycle: I have a scooter, a dilapidated Vespa that can't top more than 10 M.P.H. and I basically use to just putter around my housing edition in. But no, today I was seated on the backseat of  a legit Hero Honda (pardon me while I giggle a tad) behind SANDEEEEEP (whom I love) as we drove from shooting location to shooting location. Why have I never traveled in this manner before? It's so free, and it's a hell of a lot faster than an Autorickshaw... or car. Plus, there are those moments where the driver takes a sharp turn and you have to timidly grab hold of his shoulder...

No, I don't take myself seriously.

3. My first hit-and-run. Times two!: The first time I was not paying attention to where I was standing (in the middle of a busy road) while I was taking pictures. A BMW came up, slowly, and nicely informed me of its presence by bumping into me. I blew a kiss at the driver (I'm truly insane) and got out of the way. The second time I was literally rammed down by an Autorickshaw. I didn't fall, since that would have just been unpardonably embarrassing, but I do have a nice single-tire bruise on my ankle. Ha! I hope it scars!*

4. I saw a naked uncle: Uhhh. I don't really know if I want to talk about the Rickshaw driver actor who was forced to take a bath by my coworker in the vein of "artistic integrity".  Call me a prude, but there was a score of intense blushing and eye-covering throughout the entire process. Oh dear, I'm so going to be having nightmares about that.

5. My first milk candy: I don't know what milk candy is, but Oy Hoy if it isn't delicious! The end.

Oh, I shoot my movie on Thursday, and then Saturday I go home. Can there be a collective sigh and tear shed for me please?

And no, we're not going to talk about my film, because I think it's pretty awful. Confined to 5 minutes, I couldn't quite put on the Filmi Epic complete with scars, lost twins, Shashi and sword fighting item numbers that I so desired.

Uff!

*Yes, I just hoped that a bruise would scar. I bet it would happen in some Masala.

Mumbai Monday: This Didn't Go the Way it Was Supposed To...

Occasionally I get it into my head that I need to update this poor, dilapidated blog child of mine, but then I get distracted by something remarkable; Shashi on the television or the most disturbing cookie advertisement of all time:



And I must say this before my brain melts, I am absolutely tired of seeing Hrithik Roshan's face everywhere I turn. Every other commercial, billboard, light post, rickshaw, trashcan, store front and food is emblazoned with his face. It was enough for me to NOT go see Kites, as I thought that I had seen enough of Mr. Roshan's face, thank-you-very-much.

Digression aside, I am in full form to in form (ha) you of my various travels and trials whilst living in the Indian Subcontinent. Today, for example, we have been waiting for 5 hours to meet a man about an autorickshaw. My fellow intern is doing her short film on an auto-wallah and we must rent the vehicle for her. Currently she lies asleep in the bed beside me while I steal a few minutes on her laptop. I was supposed to cast my actress for my film (of rather dismal plot), and the both of us were to nail down locations. As we have been waiting for the auto, nothing has happened. Well, I did watch about 3 hours of Monk re-runs, but only because I couldn't force feed myself  Dance India Dance for one more moment.

Also, I did get along fine with the cook today, who has a habit of wanting to over-feed me all the while commenting on various methods I might use to drop weight. The most obvious to the American mind, anorexia, is unpardonable around here and I must be stuffed full with daal (which I abhor) because she feels I lost far to much weight in the two and a half weeks I was suffering from dysentery (of which I was quite proud of). I cannot please her!

Granted, I suppose she's just happy that I can stomach Indian food again, and I just generalize and tell her (though she speaks no English and looks at me in a bewildered way) that all Americans are fat and I'm just tall and I quite like myself, as my body is characteristic of my vocal fach, even though only Opera singers really understand and see those biological traits.

I think if I had grown up in an age where I had to deal with servants I would have been quite a terror to them. Mostly I just itch for the chance to cook for myself again, and I dream about broccoli and Sexy Rexy Chicken and salads and apples and peaches and carrots and beef until I cry.

This is getting absurdly sentimental.

So many things I cannot talk about though, for neither Vivek Oberoi's new film, or Ra.One have come out and I have a gag order around my throat for all the little details that I saw. Though I will say, the rubber suit is absurd...

ZIP! My lips are locked.

Also, someone (perhaps a smart auntie) needs to slap me senseless, for I imagine myself in love with every man I'm introduced to, despite their small little height. DAMN the growth hormones in food! I've turned into an abominable flirt, (though I always was one according to L), but here it is remarkably fun. After studying Indian women interacting with males I noticed they just giggled and looked bashful. OH HO! Their (the men's) inability to come back after a saucy little return on their jokes is hysterically funny and they often fuddle up as if they've never had a ladki talk back to them in a fun way. It provides hours of entertainment and creates such sad little illusions in my head.

That, and it's wedding season.

I've decided it is high time I got myself hitched, so I might as well do it here; though with only a week left to complete this daunting task I rather feel that I shall return to the states a disappointed woo'er.

One week! O goodness, sometimes I feel like I haven't seen or done anything in the 6 weeks that I've been here, but I have and I feel right and ripe for coming home... though I'm already planning my return.

For fun, here is a picture of me at a shaadi in one of the slums.

The cook scolded and scolded me to wear my hair "open" 

and I refused, since I was afflicted by the heat.
The cook was right. 
Also, and this may be out of taste, but it rather looks like my boobs 
are going to attack that poor short girl's (my coworker) head. Fantastic.

I Laughed Because I Had NO Idea What Was Happening

Housefull, 2010
Directed by: Sajid Khan

1. WHY does Laura Dutta get all the love that she does? I think she's just SnoozeLand, USA. Compared to Deepika I preferd the latter, and my feelings about Miss Padukone are not the nicest things in the world.

So I saw Housefull last night at the InOrbit mall in Mumbai... just a hop and a skip away from my house here in the city.

Can I tell you how WEIRD it is to watching INDIAN films in INDIA?  It shouldn't, SHOULDN'T blow my mind but seeing all the previews with Shah Rukh and Bebo and everyone else was just so WERID.

Ok, I admit it, I started crying a little. Don't judge.

These are the people I live through in the states, and here they are, just the normal Tom, Dick and Harry of the entertainment business around here.

PAGAAL!

Anyway, Housefull is a film that I would never have seen back home. As it is, I thought I was meeting with the director, but my boss misinformed me and I saw it anyway. O well.

Comedy isn't my thing... except in really rare cases. Spy Movies, War Dramas, Historical whatsits... THAT'S my scene. So to see an Indian Comedy... something I don't quite understand to begin with is something. I think the lack of subtitles really aided in the fun I had at this film... that and a very long, very Ranbir-centric preview for Rangeeti

Having to know exactly what everyone said would have killed this movie so dead for me. And quickly. I'd say I got 75% of it just on context alone, but I don't need the fine details. It was low-brow humor of the same qualty of all of those dumb teen sex movies. Am I right?

At first I was annoyed that there were no subtitles to distract me from Deepika's face... but then after I realized I just had to bite my tonge and look at her, that I didn't find her that offensive. Maybe she's growing on me? Maybe I found her so much more interesting than that annoying-even-in-Hindi Itailian fellow, or maybe because Ritesh might put me to sleep faster than Laura Dutta... I don't know but I managed to find Akshay and Deepika the most compelling characters in the story.

Oh... and Lilete Dubey. She's fab.

Although I haven't seen that many pairs of shiny hot-pants as displayed in the "Boys Night Out" since the Spice Girls were cool.

Fashion is circular, I guess.

Blah blah blah. Housefull.
It's not that I found it so terrble, but it just seemed so contrived, so forced. Like everyone on set should have taken a muscle relaxer and THEN done their shots.

And is it just me, or does Deepika just have one dance move? The bent-knee, "drive the golf cart", hip thrust? TRUST ME, watch for it, it's ALL SHE DOES!

Akshay was precious though, I tend to just like him for the sake of seeing him wear clothes. Suits in general. OOOOO BABY can he wear a tux! Also, what happened to the extreme clumsy-ness about 1/4 into the film? It was just gone. (Good riddance, but still, inconsistant!!)

And is it only becasue I'm in India that I find the Punjabi/Sardar sterotype rather abrasive? Gosh, I'm going to have to investigate that.

Deepika should only wear all black, and with a smokey eye. Even I will admit that she's quite the sex kitten enrobed ala Femme Fatal.

Ok, So I might just like Deepika now.

Wasn't it SO werid to see Mukesh (Arjun Rampal) from OSO being happy and dancy? Gave me the shivers.

This is not so much a reviw as just feelings. But it's effing hot here. Ok?

Love,
e

(p.s. this keyboard kind of stinks, any errors are not my fault.)

Mumbai Monday: Day 1

Technically this is my second day in the big, bad Bombay, but it's my FIRST day on the job! The driver is coming to get me in a half hour and I'll be off into the glittering, magical, soon to be exposed Bollywood.

For this first week I just have to "indroduce" myself to the B'Wood. HA! My program director laughed at me yesterday when I was brousing the films stocked in my house and I saw... wait for it... Sholay!

I laughed and hugged it. She looked rather alarmed until I looked her in the eye and said "I'm a Masala addict."

For a second she was shocked, didn't know what to say, and then laughed. "Well, that is A LOT of Masala in that one."

They also have Dev.D in the house. I'm so, so, so in trouble!

They shouldn't feed this kind of addiction. A country full of enablers!!

I am loving, loving, loving, PYAAAAAAAAARING India. How can I not?
..I mean, really... the people are so lovely and nice and beautiful and helpful.
(I'm intentionally forgetting about being groped through the train window. Forget forget forget!)

*sigh*
1 week down, a month to go.
I promise pictures and everything... I'm HORRIBLE at being a photographer... I'd much rather absorb.

And for my "homework" I'll be delving into Vinod Khanna in honor of Khanna-O-Rama week...
It'll be a miracle if I get posts up, Internet cafes leave A LOT to be desired.

Love ya from Mumbai!